Shopping List (Pot)

 This list works for me on a whole heap of levels.

Anyone who adds "POT" (in block capitals to emphasise this and placing at the top of the list) to their Friday-big-shop is OK by me.

It's like a little Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in its own right - the only items missing might be a woolly jumper and a hooker.

Gotta get these things right.... got my pot.... then the munchies.... cup of tea and some toast... check..... glass of gin... check.... series of stoned stunts involving farts and hairspray.... check....  the rest is a complete mystery.

The fact that someone is UNchristian enough to tear up a Christian Aid leaflet so they don't forget to buy some blow is testament to this list in itself.

(written on a christian aid leaflet)

shopping list front

 shopping list back

Shopping List (sugar)

Oh Sarah and Ashley, what did you let yourselves in for?

I am trying to work out from the list what this happy couple might be enjoying for their evening meal when they get home tonight.  My guess is fish finger sarnies with an assortment of "veg" - hopefully not simply a bag of frozen mixed veg, but a stunning array that is far too stunning to detail in a simple shopping list.

As for onions and sugar?  Perhaps it's that age-old northern speciality of toffee onions - not dissimilar to toffee apples other than the fact that they are made with onions and NOT apples.

One item of extra special interest is the item that's been "scrubbed" from the list... is it a tart? A fort?  Sarah, Ashley, if you're reading, please let us know what it was you DIDN'T need!

(written on a small envelope)

Shopping list front

shopping list back

Shopping List (chocolate bars)

Written on a piece of paper far too big to fit your shopping list onto, I am continually amazed at how few items people need before making a list of them.... I mean, six items, perfectly understandable, but five?  Where is the line?

The naming convention of this list, coupled with very neat joined-up writing is a joy to behold..... not just any old chocolate, but chocolate bars....  not just any old tuna but tuna fish!  I bet they were not going to just any old supermarket but to a... you get the idea.  It's genius!  

And did I mention the writing?  What lovely calligraphy.

(written on an a6? spiral bound sheet)

Shopping List (Timber?)

Here's a different kind of shopping list.  I'm attracted to this list for a couple of reasons.

1) six feet and five inches is actually 11/64ths of an inch out!

2) Timber?  I mean "timber" - what the hell does that mean?

Ok so these reasons may not be universally appealing but it resonates with me because I am a feckless DIYer and it's the kind of moronic list I would write for myself knowing that I am about to be laughed off the forecourt of Walker Timber in Birkby!  Shades of spotty oiks in computer shops offering 1Mb hard disks whilst snearing down their spotty noses at tech-unsavvy shoppers!

(written on scrap of plain paper)