Shopping List (crackers)

Loving the neatness of the cutting on this piece of A4 ruled hole-punched piece of paper.  It's somehow let down slightly by the brevity of the list, but redeemed by the seemingly "random" items placed thereupon.

 Crackers?  You must be - That must be the reason you're also searching for the "customary" dressing gown and slippers that accompany all new patients!

(written on lined paper)

Shopping List (carrots)

Ooh - look at this.  A shopping list to end all shopping lists....

Some important notes of interest are as follows:

a) It's a long shopping list and you don't find that many long ones.

b) It's written on plain paper... no punches, no spiral bound, no lines.... just plain.

c) It contains a couple of really funny spazz-outs!

c i) "Meance" sounds like Beyonce!

c ii)"Begg" sounds like Leg!

c iii) Abbreviated "pepper" to "pep" made me, at first read it as "Red pop"

c iv) Nice mixed case and capitalisation of items i.e. garlic BUT Red etc

d) I think they're having spaghetti bolognese for tea!

(written on folded a4 plain paper folded to a5 but not torn)

Shopping List (papers)

Short but very VERY sweet.

This "chancer" does not really need a list for these items... it makes me wonder whether this is some small child (obviously underage for playing the lottery) that's been sent to the newsagent to pay Grannie's paper bill (she's too embarrassed to go herself) and this note acts as "security" like when your mum used to send you to the shop for her fags! - or it's simply someone with old-timer's disease that really wants a punt on the lottery!!  Smart!

(written on a rather smart piece of paper that looks like it's from one of those notepad cube things)

Shopping List (onions)

A real rarity, this one.  Rare and never to be repeated, it's a shopping list of my own that I found lying about.

Now, I'm not trying to outdo anyone with my zany list but you've got to admit it's a pretty wacky collection of items.

Onions (specifically three of them) means I had a specific recipe in mind when I made this out.  

The small cauliflower suggests I was making my vegetable curry.  

The fact that toothpaste, crickets and earrings all appear together on the list suggest I was going to park at the pet shop on the ring road and get the food for my praying mantises... then hop across to the indoor market and check out the earrings on offer (I'm always up for some "hinged" sleepers) - probably scoring the toothpaste at Home Bargains or Wilkos on the return and get free parking at the pet shop into the bargain!

(written on a scrap of paper)

Shopping List (Pot)

 This list works for me on a whole heap of levels.

Anyone who adds "POT" (in block capitals to emphasise this and placing at the top of the list) to their Friday-big-shop is OK by me.

It's like a little Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in its own right - the only items missing might be a woolly jumper and a hooker.

Gotta get these things right.... got my pot.... then the munchies.... cup of tea and some toast... check..... glass of gin... check.... series of stoned stunts involving farts and hairspray.... check....  the rest is a complete mystery.

The fact that someone is UNchristian enough to tear up a Christian Aid leaflet so they don't forget to buy some blow is testament to this list in itself.

(written on a christian aid leaflet)

shopping list front

 shopping list back

Shopping List (sugar)

Oh Sarah and Ashley, what did you let yourselves in for?

I am trying to work out from the list what this happy couple might be enjoying for their evening meal when they get home tonight.  My guess is fish finger sarnies with an assortment of "veg" - hopefully not simply a bag of frozen mixed veg, but a stunning array that is far too stunning to detail in a simple shopping list.

As for onions and sugar?  Perhaps it's that age-old northern speciality of toffee onions - not dissimilar to toffee apples other than the fact that they are made with onions and NOT apples.

One item of extra special interest is the item that's been "scrubbed" from the list... is it a tart? A fort?  Sarah, Ashley, if you're reading, please let us know what it was you DIDN'T need!

(written on a small envelope)

Shopping list front

shopping list back

Shopping List (chocolate bars)

Written on a piece of paper far too big to fit your shopping list onto, I am continually amazed at how few items people need before making a list of them.... I mean, six items, perfectly understandable, but five?  Where is the line?

The naming convention of this list, coupled with very neat joined-up writing is a joy to behold..... not just any old chocolate, but chocolate bars....  not just any old tuna but tuna fish!  I bet they were not going to just any old supermarket but to a... you get the idea.  It's genius!  

And did I mention the writing?  What lovely calligraphy.

(written on an a6? spiral bound sheet)

Shopping List (Timber?)

Here's a different kind of shopping list.  I'm attracted to this list for a couple of reasons.

1) six feet and five inches is actually 11/64ths of an inch out!

2) Timber?  I mean "timber" - what the hell does that mean?

Ok so these reasons may not be universally appealing but it resonates with me because I am a feckless DIYer and it's the kind of moronic list I would write for myself knowing that I am about to be laughed off the forecourt of Walker Timber in Birkby!  Shades of spotty oiks in computer shops offering 1Mb hard disks whilst snearing down their spotty noses at tech-unsavvy shoppers!

(written on scrap of plain paper)